just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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