lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
