i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
