mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize