in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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