The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
