The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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