belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
