We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
