Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
