NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
