I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this boner is exhausting
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize