i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I need a burrito and a hug.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
