pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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