If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize