they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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