the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
