3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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