I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
