Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
