whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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