How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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