your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
