She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
