you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
