maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
