Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
