Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
