you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
