my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize