TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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