Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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