Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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