Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
