you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
