No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
