i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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