Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
