I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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