Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
