I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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