mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
