It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
