Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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