i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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