Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
