so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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