I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
