Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
