I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
