shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My bed smells like the plague
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
