theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
