no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
