Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
