Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
