Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
