Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All I want is dick and wine.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
