I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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