More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
