Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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