I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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