he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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