i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
