Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
