direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
