Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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