i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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