Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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