why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
