Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
